We can’t all be right.

“I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.” Bob Dylan

When we were young, we were so confident in what we believed. If we are pursuing wisdom as we age, we learn that perspective changes reality.

I spent my younger years pushing people away with my strong views. I still have strong views, most of which have been developed over time, from experience and the pursuit of wisdom. But how long must one learn before being wise?

The more important lesson learned for me though was that no amount of learning can advise the human heart. We at our core are relational and emotional creatures. The path to developing a true culture of collaboration is not being right, but being aware.

Simple put, the more time I spend learning about your perspective and how you arrived at your view, the more likely you are to see my perspective. Though this is not always the case. There are people who only want to be heard. But partnering requires the hard work of assessing the openness of others, working to develop consensus around mutual values, and developing a way forward.

There are many ways forward for any group of two or more to work together. At times, it could be a simple directive from a leader that expects compliance. The other option is that we lead by doing the deeper work. This could be as extreme as a week long meeting of the minds and hearts just to get to one core value decision. But usually the answer is somewhere in the middle.

Here is a challenge for all of us. Write down the 5 people you are closest to and ask yourself how well you see their perspective. Rate this from 1-10 and ask that person to rate THEIR perception of your understanding of them. Be specific here on what areas you are evaluating. Some relationships will have multiple areas of perspective that need to be gained for a true partnership.

Let me know how this is going and what you learned from the process. I would love to share your experience with others!